I usually parade around my office and eventually the building I work in, so that the cute outfit I’ve chosen for the day can be admired by many (and hopefully envied by that chick on the 5th floor that I just don’t like for no real reason – she just looks snooty to me).
Today I will make other plans.
I woke up at 6:40 this morning – well got up at 6:40 after hitting the snooze button repeatedly. 6:00 is my regular get up and go time so the 40 minute difference is a really big deal. Really.
I was so late that I stopped for a moment to consider skipping my shower to save a little time. Since the temp outside right now is near 90, I’m sure that would have been a really poor choice. My co-workers would be eternally grateful if they knew what my decision might have cost them.
Since I had to shower, I needed to find a way to save time.
Insta-clothes are the garments in my wardrobe that never need ironing and go pretty well with almost anything. Insta-clothes have saved me from the horror of being late on more than one occasion so at 7:08 I grabbed Insta- slacks and an Insta-shirt to match the sparkly shoes I’d decided to wear today. I tip-toed out of the bedroom and quietly shut the door.
My guy “A” goes into work in the afternoons so I try to be as quiet as possible in the morning and I usually dress in the living room to let him rest.
The black slacks are insta-clothes because they’re skin tight. Skin tight. I”m usually not the hoochie at the office so understand that the shirt I chose was supposed to cover the skin tight thing. I cleverly had it all worked out and after applying my work face in the bathroom mirror above the sink I grabbed my keys, jumped in my car and made it to my building a full 1/2 hour before my start time.
I had this lovely mental image of my appearance that didn’t quite match the reflection myself on the side of the building. “Distortion”, I told myself., ‘you’re fine”.
The elevators in my building have mirrored doors.
Jali in the mirror. No distortion.
Hootchie – OMG – I’m a hootchie at the workplace.
The shirt that was supposed to make it all come together was not the shirt I was wearing. I was wearing an ’emphasize her big ass shirt.’
R. Kelly was stuck in the closet.
I’m stuck at my desk… (I have to pee)