Sometimes I wake up early in the morning and can’t go back to sleep. I generally need something to put me to sleep, and if “A” won’t cooperate (“tee-hee-hee” – that was supposed to simulate a giggle, but it just looks kind of stupid, but I’m leaving it anyway) and my usual choice to knock me out is television. Because of “A”‘s addiction to the remote, and his need to hide it so that there will NEVER be an opportunity for me to watch a complete show, I generally have no clue as to how to find the f***ing remote at 1:52 in the a.m. I’m willing to get up to turn the TV on, but don’t usually want to stand there changing channels, so I’ll watch whatever is on at the time.
I love Comedy Central so it’s the usual channel my set is tuned to. Fine choice during regular programming time – horrible choice late at night.
Are you familiar with “Girls gone Wild”? http://tours.girlsgonewild.com/maintour.php/67/30/A
I am very familiar with girls gone wild since this is the only effing commercial played late night on this station and there’s actually a whole girls gone wild show that lasts for what seems like an eternity in hell, but must be actually about an hour or so. I don’t actually watch the TV – I’m trying to get back to sleep, but I can hear it. And hear it. and hear it. The background music is vaguely Caribbean and it seems that a requirement of going wild is the ability to produce an inane, uncomfortable laugh while flashing the girls.
I don’t understand why these girls are going wild. I don’t understand why flashing one’s boobs is such a great thing to do when there’s a cameraman and an idiot host (yes -he’s an idiot) in the room. I don’t understand why these chicks will perform for FREE. The idiot host/producer is making tons of cash. The cameraman is getting paid. These chicks are willing to flash their way out of potential internships and job opportunities for fame on a $9.99 DVD that Grandpop may be ordering right now.
But wait… there’s more:
Other channels offer these wild girls plus other money making, life changing, house cleaning, skin smoothing, hair removing, time saving, body shaping opportunities that you can take advantage of only if you call in the next five minutes. Operators are standing by. ( I always think, ‘what a f***ed up job to have to stand by for idiot callers at 3 in the morning’.)
How about the music? For example:
The Golden Days
Over 125 rock ‘n roll hits. 7 cassettes-4 payments of $24.99 equals $99.96, or 7 CDs-4 payments of $29.99 equals $119.96. plus $9.95 S&H. 800-510-7625; C/S 719-531-7096; The Golden Days, P.O. Box 4100, Colorado Springs, CO 80934
$119.96 for 7 CDs plus $9.95 Shipping and Handling (the terminology alway got to me – I understand shipping but I don’t see why I’m paying you to handle the product so that I can buy it – sounds like doubletalk and rip off to me). I might like 4 or 5 of the songs they played 6 times each during the commercial – the other 120 or so songs are a waste of everyones time. Who buys this stuff?
It seems that people are actually buying the stuff. There are “As Seen on TV” booths and stores in malls all over the country. There’s also a website http://www.asseenontv.com/?gg=ontv that lists literally hundreds and hundreds of products that were advertised on late night television.
I suppose I’m just not hip enough to buy this stuff. (Y’all know that “stuff” means “shit” in Jalispeak.) I hope I never make it to that level of hipness.