Phony Stuff

Well, you know how I feel about sales, right? When I was strolling through the pharmacy yesterday, killing time, I went down almost every aisle.

Nice and Easy had a sale! $2.99 for their Gray Solution (see how they solve problems we didn’t know we had?) usually $7.99. What a bargain!
I bought the pack, of course, and left it on the counter in the kitchen.  I was  considering the possibility of changing my hair so that my face and body would still be 53, but my hair would be 25 again.

 I opened container A and took a sniff – not bad. I applied it to my hair while fully dressed and listening to Van Morrison. This is the pre-conditioner, so I’d still have time to change my mind, I told myself.

I opened containers B1 and B2 and followed the instructions, including the use of rubber gloves, and mixed the coloring sloution. By this time, I was committed to the falsification of my appearance.

I went into the bathroom so that I could watch the change as I applied and I got the stuff on my hair as planned instead of my shoulders and all over the sink and floor. Good job!

I turned the shower on and ran back to the LR to check the LR time (I use different times in different rooms to avoid being late – whole ‘nother story) and I had a moment or two to relax, but I couldn’t because I HAD DYE IN MY HAIR and I was excited.

I went back to the bathroom and realized that my tee shirt had to come off my head in order for me to clean parts of my body in the shower. Have you ever seen a person having a fit? Well that was me, trying to remove the cute tee shirt without coloring it. Big fail.

Anyway, (I can really make a short story long, huh?) my hair is brown again. I like it, but I feel like a big phony. Why? Because I am…


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4 responses to “Phony Stuff

  1. I can not even begin to tell you how many times I have dyed my hair, I have also experimented with a variety of colors, and yup each was phony but I felt better, so who cares, oh the joys of being a female, ha!

  2. Fake?? come on! That’s just upkeep while having a little fun with your hair! Not fake at all….now when you get Botox because there’s a 1 forehead purchase get cheeks free deal, THEN we might have to talk about the F word. Meanwhile, color away. Pink streak mayhaps?? hahahaha!

  3. I’ve never dyed my hair, which now has a few white streaks in it. I tell myself they’re “highlights.” I am not averse to cosmetic fakery as long as it looks natural, but I’m worried about having to retouch every five minutes because my hair grows fast. I may do it someday, but plastic surgery is out. I’d rather look old than deformed. And I’m sure you look fabulous, dahling. FABulous.

  4. Phony? Oh no! Have you ever been in line at the market with the urge to purchase a bottle of black dye for the lady with the yellow grays standing ahead of you? I have. Have you ever had a colleague with so many blackheads on her nose, you wanted to anonomously leave a pack of Biore strips on her desk? I have. Dying your hair is like putting in a sew in weave, drawing your eyebrows, wearing a push up bra, or even putting on mascara. I would consider dye a beauty enhancer! So go ahead and enhance and be free! Please make sure you follow the directions because the only thing worse than yellow grays are jet black dye stains on your forehead and ears. By the way Jali, I know plenty of people who have no gray hairs who look 20 years older than they actually are. Its your beautiful face that actually makes you look younger. And that’s no phony!

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